2010

It's the month of December now. Going to be 2010 in 2 more weeks. Before start to count down the year of 2010, it will be Christmas first!

Oh Christmas~ I Love the spirit of it. The Xmas songs, the Xmas trees, the presents... It's been quite long time I didn't receive Christmas present. Can I get it this year? *Hope so*

I started to look forward for next month to arrive. My dearest ex roommate from Kuching is coming to KL and someone is coming back to KL as well. I miss them so much!! T.T

Ya. New year is coming soon. I should have some new year resolutions coming out as well. Hahaha..

My new year resolution:

1. Eat more
2. Study hard
3. Stop complaining
4. Start save money
5. A new camera (I hope to get it as a present =P)
6. Pray more
7. Scold less
8. Control my bad temper
9. Be more understanding
10. Spread more love to my frens and family ^^

All of the above is not easy to accomplish because they are all cant be measure or seen through the naked eyes. Except the camera of course. Haha.. I hope I can be a better person, a better fren, a better daughter, a better sister and a better gf in the year of 2010.

Home Sweet Home

Just back from my 1 week study leave at my comfy home. Feel a bit not used to here (Kampar) coz I miss my family. T.T

Thank God everything is fine. Dad is well and healthy now. I'm having so much fun at home and ate so much nice food. Thanks to mum. ^^

Being at home really nice. Stress free, emo free, free food, free drama series.... *giggles* =P

I did help my mum, my aunt and my sis do mask. They like the mask so much. Hahaha. I taught my little cousin sis to memorize some words and help to 'jaga shop' as usual. My friends come to my house and have a little chit chat too. And I woke up early to have breakfast with my family everyday. ^^

Although it just 1 week but I do feel that I had relax enough and I know it's time for me to study hard for my exam now. Gonna FIGHT TILL THE END!!

Trying to be me or someone else?

It's another emo day of me again. (Yes, AGAIN) zzzz
Tend to think too much till I can't sleep at night.(It's almost 2am now) Stupid me! =.="

I always like to compare myself with others. I also don't know why. Not that I'm a "kia su" person but I just think that I'm not good enough compare to others. It's called the LOW SELF ESTEEM I guess. *sighs*

People say I do LOOK confident but deep down inside my heart I still feel that I'm NOT GOOD enough. I do feel I'm thinking negatively sometimes although I try to think positively.

I love taking photos because I think that photos do capture the fake me which people might think that I'm confident or pretty but actually I'm NOT..

My best frens do say me THINK a lot and they can't really stand with me sometimes. But I guess this is the REAL me. I am EMO and LOW SELF ESTEEM. =.=" Oh yeah, and think too much too... zzzz

HATE or LOVE

Ya, I did hate myself sometimes. Why am I so weak? Why am I so timid? Why am I always depend on other people? And so on...

Recently I even hate myself more coz I cant make decision quickly and tend to take long time to think. (Ya, REAL long time) zzz

I hope to change myself. At least I must start control myself for not thinking too much. If not, I will get insomnia again. Haiz...

I try to be more optimistic and tend to do what my 1st instinct told me to do so. It's not that easy to follow what your heart's says and feelings sometimes. We are living in realistic world. We need to be realistic sometimes. Or ALL the time...


Hate and love. 2 different meanings but they can be occurred at the same time. We could be loving and hating the person or object at the same time. I always do so. I guess I just cant hate something for long time. Except COCKROACH!!! I will definitely hate it forever! Or I should say that I will SCARED of it forever...zzzzz Whatever.

Hate me or love me. You choose it. But I'll definitely hate you if you don't love me.. (SELF OBSESSED) *wink* =P

Raining Season Part 2

ZZZZZZZZZ It's been raining till I don't even realize is it day or night anymore....

It makes me feel like wanna sleep, sleep, sleep... But the worst part was... I tend to sleep too much in the afternoon and it caused me cant sleep at night!!!! =.="

The photo above was edited by me on the day that I was emo-ing... Suddenly I feel the words coming out from my mouth : Is it raining outside or it's raining inside my heart? *I was wondering as well*


There's another photo (below) edited by me also. (of course!) *haha* It's a fun yet serious photo coz it was inspired by a defamation law which I felt was so important to keep it in mind to not to slander! *serious mode* Yes, it's SERIOUS coz it was a crime according to the law and everyone should NOT practice it.

For your information, Slander is one of the defamation form, as by spoken words, gestures, etc. It is any false or defamatory words spoken about a person or the words which falsely spoken that damage the reputation of another.

The message of this photo was to encourage people not to commit slander and I think it was a reminder for ME myself as well to remind myself not to talk bad about others or gossiping which I think this was the HOBBY for every girl. =P (It was a bad hobby ya I know) zzz

So, I am going to say this out loud : "STOP DEFAMATION, STOP SLANDER!!!"

Lomography

Yeah! Recently I was so obsessed with the lomography and the lomo camera was a damn cute adorable 1.. ^^

Although it was a film camera but it can capture beautiful photos with a sense of art. I love snapping photos!! (As I always do. ^^) It was a pretty cool gadget and more affordable compare to those digital camera.

It might not be as useful as digital camera coz it cant take videos but it was a classic camera which we might have forget about the existence of FILM CAMERA since digital camera was more popular nowadays.

I was so impressed with the photos that was taken by the lomo camera and it was awesome!! I was plan of getting one coz it really did stole my heart away~~~~

*The photos above are the lomo camera which I personally love it very much coz it's PINK!! hahahahaha =P (photos from Google)

Aquarius

Traits of an Aquarius:

* Good communication skills (Erm... I suppose so...)

* Sociable (It depends on my mood)

* Idealist (I think so..)

* Tactless (Sometimes I do...)

* Desires change (Yes!! and I always do!! ^^)

* A utopian (Ya... unrealistic I guess...)


Likes...

* Fame (Am I?? =P)

* Themselves (I think I was kinda self obsessed sometimes...hehe)

* Privacy (I always protect my privacy!!!)

* Dreams (Is day dreaming counted as well??)

* Magic (Not really..zzz)

* Change (I like to change the way I dress or my room but not my heart)

* Eccentricity (Dunno.. NO idea...)

* Surprises (Yeah! I love it!!!)

* Living within their means (Ya, I always stand firm in what I believe.. I'm always CORRECT!!! boo~ =.=")



Dislikes...

* Emotion (But I always EMO.. zzzz)

* Intimacy (Erm.. It depends on who is the person lo... )

* Show-offs (Hell yeah!!!)

* Taken for granted (I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!)

* Being 'pinned down' (Pls dun pinned me...=.='')

* Violence (But I guess I'm one of it....zzzz)

(sources from Explore Aquarius Astrology, retrieved on 14 November 2009) http://www.aquarius.arollo.com/personality.html

Emo zzzzz

Ya, I was emo-ing again listening to Christina Aguilera - Hurt. zzzzzz Just feel so down recently. Always stay inside my room facebooking and msn. B.O.R.E.D. =.=" I NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE!!!!!!!! * Yeah! face to face*


Just now chat with an old coursemate. Think back many of the old memories in college. Suddenly i miss those days in college badly. Feel like wanna go back home now. At least I have my family to talk to and life wont be so boring. Sighs.


I guess we wont appreciate things when we're experiencing it. After it had gone or we know we cant back to those times then only we started to flash back all the memories and wish with all our heart to get back there. Haiz.


Been sick of myself for being so emo recently but I guess it was just part of my life here in Kampar. Yea, it was not so bad after all. But why I still feel lonely and so unhappy with my life? Sometimes I will even ask myself, :" Why am I here???" =.=''

The person who I care the most wasn't by my side makes me even feel worst. But he just wont understand how was I felt without him. He just wont understand. Maybe I should be independent. I AM independent. But independent people also will have their weakest times... * I guess I have the weakest times ALL THE TIME* zzzzz


Finally, I do wish myself don't be so emo anymore. *I hope so* And everything will be just fine for me. This song was so meaningful to me. Hope you guys will like it too.


Hurt lyrics
Songwriters: Aguilera, Christina; Perry, Linda; Ronson, Mark;

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were, but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today, ooh, ooh

I would hold you in my arms, I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done, forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do to hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call you but I know you won't be there

Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you

Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this, ooh

Would you tell me I was wrong? Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me? Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do to have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back

Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself, oh

If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that I've missed you
Since you've been away

Oh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line
To try and turn back time

I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself
By hurting you

Raining Season

Yes it's now November and it's the raining season. I love rain actually but not that it's pouring everyday!!!! =.='' It can be so annoying when it just keep raining everyday. My cloth wont dry because of raining. zzzzz


Many things had happened recently. Most of them are really bad case to me. My own personal problems, class problems.... I guess I need to face problems everyday. It's the nature of life. *sucks* But I hope I can deal with it with a calm heart and settle it in a proper way.


I hate to admit that I am quite an emotional person but I guess I am! I can be very down at a time and very happy at the other time. Ya, girls are like weather. Or is it just me? >.< hahahaha


The photo below was edited after what I had gone through in these 2days. Just shortly 2days but many things had happened. It not that big deal anyway but I did learned something from it and got to improve my EQ along the way. Ya. Got to improve it. *I hope so* zzzzzzz


I am confuse with what I'm doing or believing sometimes *I guess ALL THE TIME* =.=''
It's not that easy to keep on fighting in what you're believing and stand firm at your point of view. Sometimes you might stop down and think: "Is it worth to continue?"

Sunday

Today I wake up early (not that early but early than usual >.<") just to do my houseworks. First thing that I did was put my cloths into the washing machine. While waiting for my cloths washing inside the washing machine, I clean my toilet. =.='


After those cleaning, I felt like I was more released coz I guess it was a way for me to release my tension. Although I didn't really have any tension by the way. *lolz shame on me*


As usual I did snap some photos of myself (camwhoring is what I like to do THE MOST) =P and I edited the photos. I like to edit photos with just some simple captions and add some cute objects because I like natural things. Here are some of the photos to be shared. Some of them were edited by me long time ago. Enjoy!

A New Start!

This was my first time creating my own blog. Kinda excited and confuse at the same time coz I didn't really know how to write a blog actually. =.=''


Being new and dunno what to do might make us freak up sometimes. But life still go on no matter what and I'm quite fast in adapting to new things and people but the starting is always the hardest part of everything. I like new things and people but I hate to take the first step to start things up or introduce myself to new friends. Such a contradictory person of me. ZZZ


I just wish to write out my personal experience of anything that I might find interesting or inspiring. It's just like an online diary for me. *Anything too personal of course I won't disclose it here la* >.<''


That's all for my "Opening Ceremony" today. Hope to upload more photos and write more feelings of my own. Just as my blog name, World of My Own. Every feeling, every memory, every happiness and every sadness are all mine. Until the day I write again, have a nice day! ^^